SEX IN THE CITY: NEW YORK
Soooo updates, at the start of January I moved to New York on a whim. I sublet my Atlanta apartment within 2 weeks, put all of my things in storage, and just left. I wasn’t sure what I would gain from this venture, but I did know I wanted a major life shift. I had a lot of family there so I knew it would be an easy transition. In terms of a living situation, it was so simple. I moved in with my family, and started to navigate the city. I had this timeline in my head of how I thought things would go. Within a month I would find the full-time job I had hoped, so I could move into my own 2 bed, 2 bath apartments in Brooklyn… my boyfriend would live in a penthouse in Manhattan, and everything would just fall into place. The first flaw in my plan was that I thought I could find a 2 bed, 2 bath apartment that didn’t require I make 80 times the rent. Other than that, it seemed like that’s where I was headed for the first few weeks. I had back to back job interviews at pretty notable places. I even met a man rather quickly ...tooooo quickly. He wasn’t my usual type but I figured I would give it a try. He was established, 30 years old, and newly divorced. The divorced part screamed rebound but I was there for a new experience. We talked about our intentions and the future, which offered reassurance. Everything was easy, I imagined this is how stable relationships felt. We went on a series of dates, and when I went to his midtown apartment it was so nice. Everything I had imagined for my NY lover. I know you’re expecting me to say we had sex, but I actually felt 0 attraction to him. Here he was, super-hot, attentive, successful, and he knew exactly what he wanted. But there was no spark. I wondered if I was so use to chaos that I saw him as too safe for me. Like indecision from a man was necessary for passion. Either way I was upfront and told him I wanted to wait to see if I liked him to have sex; take things slow. The next day, he said it wouldn’t work because of our differences and thoughts on the future. Let’s get real, it was because I wasn’t putting out. So, ladies, if you think a man is too good to be true …he probably is. Anyways, while attempting to maneuver the dating scene, I partied very often. I had moved to NY with my childhood friend, so every weekend we would club hop, meet new people, and take in the city. It was an easy distraction from how difficult life had become. I had this fairytale approach to how my move would be, and it turned out to be the complete opposite. Don’t get me wrong I loved NY but it taught me a lot of lessons in the 2.5 months I had been there. I learned how much I hated rejection. I would apply to these jobs, go through rounds of interviews, and nothing would pull through. I was so used to things coming easy to me it gave me anxiety when this became my reality. I’m talking full panic attack on the Metro. Embarrassing, truly. But I had come this far, so I would not accept failure. I believe rejection is 100% necessary for growth. Not everything is meant for me, and that was okay. Whether that be a job or a relationship. New York also taught me to be grateful for where I was, even if it wasn’t where I wanted to be. I had gotten 2 part-time jobs in the meantime, which was something worth celebrating. I wanted financial stability, which came in the form of 2 jobs as opposed to 1. What you want doesn’t always come in ways you would expect, which I’m learning. Excited to see what else NY can teach me after all this corona shit ends. XoXo
